Lessons from the Trenches

It has been an exhausting few weeks. Here are a few important life lessons I have learned in that time.

Guppies breed insanely fast. Explaining why there are so many more guppies isn’t that awkward. Being asked to explain exactly what the word ‘breed’ means, AND specifically how guppies “move their bodies when they breed” is very awkward.

It is apparently impossible to move a clay figure of Paul Revere riding a horse without making it look like Paul is doing unspeakable things to his horse.

There is such a thing as a snake infestation, and it can happen on a playground.

If you allow a child who likes bugs to cover herself in beetles at recess, you will end up with beetles in the classroom.

“Tinkle berries” is a term boys use to describe what the good lord gave them.

It’s hard to explain to a child why you drink herbal tea with names like calm and tension relief without straight up saying “Because of you.”

Sometimes, canceling half of math so you can talk about how awesome mantis shrimp are is totally worth it.

Having nightmares about how bad your class is behaving is not a good sign. Being unable to remember what was from the nightmare and what actually happened is a very bad sign.

Kids can drive you crazy and drain all your energy, but it means a lot to me to be surrounded by people who chose not to judge me when I found lettuce in my hair, and continued not to judge me when I had no idea where it came from.


4 responses to “Lessons from the Trenches

  1. Omg I am laughing/crying especially at the Paul revere beastiality. And I’m officially littering your blog with comments but this is the 10th hour we’ve had to kill while waiting for our train and there’s a fine line between boredom and insanity.

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